Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? - - - Sheep can hear a zipper 15 feet away.

This couple was getting to the point it looked like marriage was imminent. The mother of the daughter felt obligated to tell the prospective groom the daughter's medical problem. "You know my daughter has acute angina." To which he replied, "Great, it will make up for her small tits!"

Jewish dilemma? - - - pork at half price.

A Martian space craft lands in the backyard of this swinging couple and elected to trade partners for a night of romance. When in bed, the male martian asked the gal how it was. She responded his penis was not large enough. He then twisted one of his ears and it got longer. He twisted his other ear and it got larger. The next morning the Martians departed and the Earthlings were comparing notes. The man commented, "I don't know, she spent the whole night twisting my ears."